Blah blah blah, and when I reach 30 blah blah blah.There are a thousand variations on this meme, but they all have one thing in common: the belief that a woman can have it all. That prior to 30 she can live her life one way and pursue one set of goals, and that when she reaches 30 she can make a sudden turn and pursue an entirely different set of goals. The most common variant of this meme is this:
I'll go to college and get an education; I'll have a career and move up the corporate ladder; I'll explore my sexuality, and when I reach 30 I'll get married; I'll have a wonderful husband; I'll have children; I'll be a phenomenal mom and my life will be fantastic.She can have it all, if she follows the plan. Unfortunately, the plan rarely works out. The plan is why 40% of female college graduates won't marry before they reach 40. The plan is why the divorce rate in America is over 50%. The plan is why marriage in America today is a disaster.
The plan is also the foundation of the entire feminist framework. The lure of feminism isn't empowerment; the lure is empowerment without cost. The idea that a woman can “have it all” is the attraction. Feminism sits on a one legged stool stamped “and when I reach 30.”
We need to kick that stool out from under them and force them to face reality. Nobody really has it all. Life is about making choices; it's about making decisions about what kind of life you want to live. If you don't make your choices, life will come along and make them for you. “Having it all” is code for letting life make your choices for you.
From a man's perspective, there are a many reasons why it's not wise to marry a woman over 30. I plan on writing about those in the future, but for the moment I want to concentrate on the bigger picture; on why we need to take aggressive action.
President Nixon believed there was nothing we could do about the Soviet Union—that it's existence was a fact of life and we just needed to learn how to live with it. The best we could hope for was to mitigate any damages it might cause in the world, so he pursued detente with the Soviet Union.
President Reagan believed living with the Soviet Union was not only unacceptable, but that we were far from powerless. He believed that if we applied the right pressure, it would cause the Soviet Union to collapse under its own weight. Reagan was right.
We need to apply the right pressure so the feminist “have it all” narrative collapses under its own weight. We need to kick the one-legged stool out from under it and make it clear that “and when I reach 30” isn't a realistic plan. We need to drive home the point that there won't be oodles of men standing in line to marry you at 30, because men will be thinking “never marry a woman over 30.”